Ytd was a tough night for me.
I had a relapse ytd night. My heart stop pumping again. I was feeling right already when I reached home ytd, was feeling a lil tough for me to breathe. I didn't have the courage to tell mum as I don't want her to worry bout me and this illness. So I kept quiet in living room corner to catch as many breath as I can.
Until i really can't take it anymore, I went to my room to hide all my doings from mum. I even ask baby D to called me. However, breathing is getting more difficult for me till I got to call mum in for help. I hardly catch any breathing. I can't feel my heartbeat anymore. My whole body was shivering. My heart is in a pain till I cried. The pain was hardly bearable.
Mum was very worried bout me. It was ard 2am. Elder bro was worried too. Mum had my pressure pumped. It was way above the normal people. The device even indicate that my heart is very weak at that point of time. She wake dad up and they intended to send me to the hospital already. I insisted not going to hospital. I tried to cover up my painful expressions. But the pain was really unforgettable.
After struggling for quite a time (the pain totally make me lose track of time), I'm feeling quite better. I don't dare to sleep or even catch a wink. I scared my heart will stop pumping and I will just passed away just like that.
I'm only 18, I don't wish to die so early. Baby D told me to be strong to overcome all these fuck illnesses. Yes, I'll be strong. I really don't wish to die so early. I still got lots of undone things.
Why will I have a relapse ytd? I remember, I didn't even drink cold water. I have already restraint myself from doing that. But I do admit I ate chicken. Its just a piece, not more than that only! I'm not feeling real good for the past few days due to the weather. When all things come to one, relapse returns.
But tell me why, why must all these things fall on me? :(
I still remember, mum was very worried for me. She almost teared. Sorry mum for making you worried. When mum woke dad up, dad first reaction is to get his car key. Thanks dad. Elder bro helped me alot too. He calmed me down. Thanks bro! I'm sorry to make you guys worried. I'm sorry you make you guys teared for me(I know mum teared after she went back to her room). Sorry for making you guys not having a wonderful night. Dad and mum had a hard time sleeping too cause they need to come in my room to check on me every half an hour. Thanks to this wonderful family I've got!
Thanks baby D for the things you said. I appreciated it a lot. Really, thanks! Love love. <33333
Lucky younger bro isn't at home ytd. If not, I'll make another person worry for me again. Then, I'll make this person having a difficult night to sleep too.
I'm contented with all these people I've got in my life despite I'm having those don't-know-how-many fucking illnesses in me.
